FANDOM


Cast:

  • Chours-girls - Various Animals
  • Wynyard the Frog - Hector the Dog (Hector's House)
  • Barry the Bulldog - Stiletto (Danger Mouse)
  • Dennis the Anteater - Archibald the Koala
  • Sidney the Elephant - Berk (The Trap Door)
  • Pekingese - SuperTed
  • Poodle - Rosie (Puppydog Tales)
  • Harry the Hare - Larry the Lamb (Stories from Toytown: Featuring Larry the Lamb)
  • Heidi the Hippo - Pearl Pureheart (Mighty Mouse)
  • Trevor the Rat - Devious Diesel (Thomas and Friends)
  • Sebastian the Fox - Count Duckula
  • Arthur the Worm - Paddington Bear
  • Bletch the Walrus - Baron Greenback (Danger Mouse)
  • Samantha the Cat - Daisy the Diesel Railcar (Thomas and Friends)

Transcript

  • Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please. Welcome to the newest, the greatest... the most spectacular show in entertainment history. Put your hands together for, the fabulous Feebles Variety Hour!
  • Muppet Characters/Chorus girls: Meet the Feebles, meet the Feebles... We're not average ordinary people. Meet the Feebles, meet the Feebles.
  • Hector the Dog/Wynyard: Animal acts.
  • Pelicans/Chrous girls: and other attractions.
  • Stiletto/Barry: Bring me a pussy and I show you some action.
  • Archibald the Koala/Dennis: I'm a contortionist.
  • Berk/Sidney: A modernist.
  • SupterTed/Pekingese and Rosie/Poodle: An mousepotamus.
  • Jeopardy Mouse/Chrous girls: Be sure we guarantee to amuse you.
  • Gadget Hackrench/Chrous girls: Wait to meet the Feebles.
  • Tammy/Chrous girls: Meet the Feebles.
  • Foxglove/Chrous girls: We're not average,
  • Muppet Characters/Chrous girls: ordinary people.
  • Vultures/Chrous girls: Meet the Feebles
  • Crows/Chrous girls: Meet the Feebles.
  • Announcer: And now... here's... Larry.
  • Larry the Lamb/Harry: Yipeee! Ha ha! Hi, folks! Welcome to the Feebles Variety Hour. Oh boy, what a line-up we've got for you tonight. But first, give a huge reception to our very own Venus... that gorgeous hunk of mouse-hood, Pearl Pureheart!
  • Pearl Pureheart/Heidi: I'm Pearl Pureheart, hi! I love you all. You're as pretty as me, but I'm the star. I put on my best, my talents are huge.
  • Jeopardy Mouse/Chorus girls: We've got a show but it's about to start
  • Yogi Bear Character/Chorus girls: to meet the Feebles.
  • Animal Jam Session/Chorus girls: Meet the Feebles.
  • Thugs/Chorus girls: We're not average
  • My Little Pony Friendship is Magic Characters/Chorus girls: ordinary people.
  • Pirates/Chrous girls: Meet the Feebles,
  • Mouse Chrous/Chrous girls: meet the Feebles.
  • Devious Diesel/Trevor: All right you fat slag, move your ass!
  • Pearl Pureheart/Heidi: How dare you speak to me like that, you horrible, spiteful little engine!
  • Devious Diesel/Trevor: I've heard better singing from a mongoose with throat cancer.
  • Pearl Pureheart/Heidi: I won't stand for this treatment any longer. I'm an artiste. *Devious Diesel/Trevor: I demand respect. Artiste, that's a good one.
  • Pearl Pureheart/Heidi: That's it! I've had enough! I'm going straight to Baron Greenback.
  • Devious Diesel/Trevor: You do that darling.
  • Count Duckula/Sebastian: What is going on over there? Pearl Pureheart, where are you going? Have you upset her again? You know what happens when she gets into a tizz.
  • Devious Diesel/Trevor: The old cow's had it too good for too long.
  • Count Duckula/Sebastian: Like it or not, Diesel, she's the star of the show. There's no Feebles without Pearl Pureheart. Come on everybody. We're going out live in twelve hours. Heaven forbid injecting some urgency into this occasion... but for God's sake get a move on!
  • Paddington Bear/Arthur: Have a good rehearsal, Miss Pearl.
  • Pearl Pureheart/Heidi: Greenback!
  • Baron Greenback/Bletch: Oh, shit! I was just about to pop my cookies! Sorry, Pearl, I was just finishing off some paperwork.
  • Pearl Pureheart/Heidi: Diesel's been insulting me.
  • Baron Greenback/Bletch: Why, that foul-mouthed little rodent. I'll give him a good talking to.
  • Pearl Pureheart/Heidi: If it happens again, I shan't perform.
  • Baron Greenback/Bletch: There there Heidi, don't upset yourself.
  • Pearl Pureheart/Heidi: Do I smell perfume?
  • Baron Greenback/Bletch: You're imagining things my sweet. Now you go and rest up. Big night tonight.
  • Pearl Pureheart/Heidi: Come to my room later on?
  • Baron Greenback/Bletch: I'll try. Oh God! Women!
  • Daisy the Diesel Railcar/Samantha: When are you going to dump that huckery moll?
  • Baron Greenback/Bletch: Huckery moll she may be, but she's also our major drawcard.
  • Daisy the Diesel Railcar/Samantha: Show some guts, Greeback! Get rid of her!
  • Baron Greenback/Bletch: God, wouldn't like to!
  • Daisy the Diesel Railcar/Samantha: I'm not waiting around for ever.
  • Baron Greenback/Bletch: Don't worry, honey. I'm working on it.

Movies/TV Shows Used:

  • The Muppet Show
  • Hector's House
  • The Princess and the Frog
  • Danger Mouse
  • Archibald the Koala
  • The Trap Door
  • SuperTed
  • Puppydog Tales
  • Chip 'n' Dale Rescue Rangers
  • Muppets Most Wanted
  • The Jungle Book 1
  • Dumbo
  • Stories from Toytown: Featuring Larry the Lamb
  • The New Adventures of Mighty Mouse
  • Yogi's Ark Lark
  • Cats Don't Dance
  • The Great Mouse Detective
  • My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
  • Muppet Treasure Island
  • An American Tail The Treasure of Manhattan Island
  • The Little Mermaid 1
  • Thomas and Friends: Calling All Engines
  • Mighty Mouse: The New Adventures
  • Thomas the Tank Engine and Friends
  • Count Duckula
  • Paddington (1975 TV Series)