• Narrator: Now Available from Disney and Sega Video.
  • Yuckie Duck/Gonzo: Smile.
  • Narrator: A spectacular motion-picture event.
  • Nellie the Elephant/Miss Piggy: I shall accept nothing less.
  • Narrator: The one movie that's got it all. The Great Children Movie.
  • Orinoco/Kermit the Frog: Let's go for it.
  • Childrens/Muppets: (Together) Yeah!
  • Narrator: It's the story of a daring jewel heist. The target: Samantha as wealthy Lady Holiday.
  • Sam/Lady Holiday: I feel as if thieves were breathing down my neck.
  • Tim Scam/Nicky Holiday: Thieves aren't breathing down your neck.
  • Narrator: The culprit: Tim Scam as her dastaroly brother.
  • Orinoco/Kermit the Frog: Why are you doing this?
  • Tim Scam/Nicky Holiday: Because I'm a villian.
  • Narrator: And the prime suspect:
  • Yuckie Duck/Gonzo: I think I've got a picture of the thief!
  • Narrator: A beautiful young elephant.
  • Sam/Lady Holiday: Miss Nellie stole my necklace!
  • Narrator: And now it's up to Orinoco the Womble...
  • Orinoco/Kermit the Frog: We're about to embark on a potentially dangerous mission.
  • Childrens/Muppets: (Together) Whoa!
  • Narrator: Berk...
  • Berk/Fozzie Bear: We don't want the bad guys to win.
  • Narrator: Yuckie Duck...
  • Yuckie Duck/Gonzo: I heard them planning to steal the Baseball Diamond.
  • Narrator: And a heroic band of party animals...
  • Orinoco/Kermit the Frog: We're gonna have to catch those thieves red-handed.
  • Basil Brush/Beauregard: What color are their hands now?
  • Narrator: To save the day.
  • Orinoco/Kermit the Frog: There could be physical violence...
  • Nellie the Elephant/Miss Piggy: Aaaah!
  • Orinoco/Kermit the Frog: There could be gunplay...
  • Tim Scam/Nicky Holiday: All right. Back off!
  • Orinoco/Kermit the Frog: And there's a slightest chance that somebody might even get killed.
  • Ovide/Floyd Pepper: I'm out.
  • Admiral DeGill/Pops: Uh, I got a dental appointment.
  • Narrator: It's children action and adventure like you've never seen before.
  • Sam/Lady Holiday: It is rather breathtaking, isn't it?
  • Narrator: All wrapped up in the wildest muppet motion picture ever.
  • Nellie the Elephant/Miss Piggy: Well, you wanted excitement.
  • Narrator: Now you can own "The Great Children Caper" on videocassette.
  • Nellie the Elephant/Miss Piggy: Need I say more?

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